Friday, August 13, 2010

Show, Not Tell

One of the ways to write better narrative essays is to use the technique - Show,Not Tell
Below are some examples which I have adapted from the internet.

Telling: The girls were excited.
Showing: Giggles and screams filled the arrival hall. Their hair were now damp with perspiration. They held tight to each other, trying to contain themselves. The moment was here.

Telling: The room was vacant.

Showing: The door opened with a resounding echo that seemed to fill the house. Cob webs once attached flowed freely in the air. The light revealed the peeling paint on the walls and to the silhouettes once covered by pictures. Faded and torn white sheets covered the furniture now drowning in dust.

Telling: The pizza was delicious.

Showing: Steam rising up off the melted cheese made my mouth water. At the first bite, my teeth sinked into the cheese through the tomato sauce and into the moist crust. I chew and swallow rapidly. Even the cheese and tomato sauce, sticking to my fingertips, begged to be licked.

Telling: She is angry.

Showing: Her hands held tightly to the sides of her table. Her jaw tightened. Her eyes flashed heat waves at me. She hissed at me, "I want to see you outside, right now."

Now, try to do the following:
Telling: The morning was beautiful.

Telling: The meal was delicious.
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