Friday, August 13, 2010

Show, Not Tell

One of the ways to write better narrative essays is to use the technique - Show,Not Tell
Below are some examples which I have adapted from the internet.

Telling: The girls were excited.
Showing: Giggles and screams filled the arrival hall. Their hair were now damp with perspiration. They held tight to each other, trying to contain themselves. The moment was here.

Telling: The room was vacant.

Showing: The door opened with a resounding echo that seemed to fill the house. Cob webs once attached flowed freely in the air. The light revealed the peeling paint on the walls and to the silhouettes once covered by pictures. Faded and torn white sheets covered the furniture now drowning in dust.

Telling: The pizza was delicious.

Showing: Steam rising up off the melted cheese made my mouth water. At the first bite, my teeth sinked into the cheese through the tomato sauce and into the moist crust. I chew and swallow rapidly. Even the cheese and tomato sauce, sticking to my fingertips, begged to be licked.

Telling: She is angry.

Showing: Her hands held tightly to the sides of her table. Her jaw tightened. Her eyes flashed heat waves at me. She hissed at me, "I want to see you outside, right now."

Now, try to do the following:
Telling: The morning was beautiful.

Telling: The meal was delicious.


Anonymous said...

The morning was beautiful:
The eye of the heaven shines brightly, with warmth. I can feel the symphony of this glorious morning with the presence of the little tiny friends which creeps along the silver pathway. Deeply take in a breath, my lungs are sank in the freshness of the air. I fist my hand, thinking that it will be a perfect day for me.

the unknown said...

telling : i yawned indiscriminately while reading the post.

showing : my eyes were heavy. the series of prosaic, stultifying words filled my mind with stagnancy. unabated, a surreptitious yawn escaped and manifested itself.

safia said...

my heart pumped rapidly and it even skips a beat while my jelly-like tongue took a first taste. then, a sudden tempt rose up to my head and my jaw kept going up and down countlessly. and ouch, what a shame, my saliva drooled without me noticing it.

Nad-Yaya said...

hye, im a student who took 1119 english as additional subject in school. n at my school there no 1119 teachers. i juz wanna ask about oral english. to whom? n how? n one more thing how to study 1119 english? bcoz im only an ordinary student with ordinary essay. looking at ur sentence up there i felt afraid tht i might not do well in this paper.. ur reply is really needed... tq

a mind full said...

HI... Miss Jenny,
i copied one example from this post into my presentation, i hope you wouldn't mind...

a mind full said...

hi.. i copied one example here into my presentation..i hope you wouldn't mind

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